And not even film had the gall, the nerve, the audacity, to not take Batman super seriously Nooo!! My edge, it’s fading. So revisit a simpler time, when Batman villains knew how to cavort, Bat-fans were just happy to watch a good old fashioned punch-em-up, no one stressed the consequences of the world’s diplomats having their brains and bodies scrambled, not even Batman. Augh! Why is this taking so long? Why didn’t I go during Batman’s date with Catwoman? Ugh, holy depends, Batman! It’s happening. Aw, come on! Geez, shouldn’t have had that Big Gulp. Turn world leaders into dust with a dehydrating gun meant for whiskey production, then ransom each country for a billion dollars to be delivered via carrier pigeon while they make their getaway in a surplus military sub disguised as a penguin, all of which culminates in a final sequence that really makes you regret not going to the bathroom before the third act.
Together, they’ll attempt to pull of the oldest caper in the book. The first DC star to try and fail to cover up a mustache. The Penguin, who can only speak in nautical jargon, because most of this movie takes place at sea for some reason? The Riddler, the perfect 60’s villain, because you’d have to be on acid to follow his logic. Featuring Catwoman, a devious diva whose ratio of cat to women is about 90 to 10. Menacing Gotham is a group of criminals so crooked, even the cameras are out of angle. Shill for the cops, condemned drugs to death, and suggest eugenics? Holy master race master Dick! In fact, the only thing this Robin does well is cram “Holy Bat” pun into every sentence They aren’t even all puns! It’s like a verbal tick. You already knew that Robin sucked, but did you know he always sucked. In an interpretation that can only be described as the love child of Christopher Walken and. Now, let Adam West take you back to Batman’s roots-a bachelor who lives with a teenage boy, isn’t exactly in peak human condition, and follow’s one iron-clad rule: Keep your hands off his girl. You love the dark Batman defining performances of Keaton, Bale, and Affleck.
Before you experience Joaquin Phoenix‘s twisted take on The Joker, revisit the shocking origins of live-action Batman, as a swinging cartoon crime-buster!īatman (Adam West): “Some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb!”īatman: The Old TV Show, The Movie
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